Essay 6

Dull to Amazing:
My Thoughts on Boring People’s Pasts
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 25, 2010

           (Hook) Most boring people are obviously thought of as “boring,” but have you ever actually bothered to try to find something cool about them, because there probably is. (CM) Jem’s dad in To Kill a Mockingbird was way more amusing, nifty, and facinating than Jem thought. (CM) Even my boring, working mom is so much more interesting than I thought before. (Thesis) It can be very surprising what you find when you look deeper into a boring person.  
            (TS) When the chief of police in Maycomb County handed Atticus the gun, his children were perplexed as to why he did, but when Atticus got a direct hit on Tim Johnson, a mad dog that needed to be shot, his kids knew why. (SD) When Tim Johnson came down the street and, “gulped like a goldfish, hunched his shoulder and twitched his torso,” the children told their maid to call the police, which she did. (CM) Then, as I said earlier, the policeman, who had just arrived at the scene, wanted Atticus to shoot because if you missed it would hit the Radley house, and the cop knew Atticus wouldn’t miss. (CM) Then, just as the officer suspected, Atticus quickly lined up and downed the dog in one shot. (CM) The kids were shocked to see that Atticus could do this. (SD) Seeing this dog being shot made Jem and Scout realize that there dad was more interesting than they thought. (CM) Later on, while talking to Miss Maudie, a very amazed Scout found out that Atticus was, “the deadest shot in Maycomb County.” (CM) Furthermore, it was good for the kids to learn that their dad might not be the most adventurous, exciting, or funny dad that exists, but he still has some cool things left in him. (CS) When old Tim Johnson came down the streets, the kids got way more from it than they thought
           (TS) Something I did not know, or expect, to learn about my mom, who is always complaining about how we have too many pets, is that she had even more pets than us as a kid. (SD) There were always pets in her house whether they were permanent or not. (CM) She astoundingly had four cats, a dog, five guinea pigs, and even two birds always around. (CM) However, most awesome of all, which I could only dream of, is that she had a goat in her house running around for a day. (CM) When she was on a vacation with my Great Grandma Bobby, she saw a goat, and then my awesome grandma asked to take it home, and, astonishingly, the farmer said yes. (SD) It was amazing to learn this about my mom because I now know that she actually cares for pets. (CM) First of all, she remembers all of her pet’s names from about 30 years ago. (CM) She even might have a spot in her heart for having our pets around, especially our dog, because you can tell she did when she was a child. (CS) It is sad to say that all of the pets have died, and I still think that my mom doesn’t really like our bird, but I do know that she would have loved to have our bird as a child.
         (Reference Back) Now, it is plain to see that boring people might not actually be boring after all. (CM) Atticus, the boring reader, was actually a sharpshooter. (CM) Even more surprising is that my pet-hating Mom was actually a pet lover as a kid. (CS, Thesis)  There are many people in this world, and many of them are “boring,” but they might actually have some really cool secrets you just don’t know about.
  

Essay 6 Outline

Alexander
English Class
October 21, 2010

Essay 6 Graphic Organizer

Main Point/Thesis: Parents are sometimes cooler than you think
Bell Word: Surprise/Surprising/Surprised

Paragraph 1(opening)

Hook: You probably think your parents are very boring, but they might actually be very interesting.
Comment on Hook: In TKAM Jem’s dad was cooler than he thought (body 1)
Comment on Hook: My mom was cooler than I thought (body 2)
Thesis (with bell word): Wether it is your parents or someone else’s parents, the are probably cooler than you think.

Paragraph 2 (body 1)

TS: Jem, Scout find out Atticus’s talent; shooting
Two Echos: Shocked, Amazed
SD: Tim Johnson coming down the street acting like “Jem gulped like a goldfish, hunched his shoulder and twitched his torso.”
    CM: Cop wants Atticus to shoot for him
    CM: Atticus kills Tim in one shot
    CM: Talk to Miss Maudie
SD: Learned Dad is more interesting
    CM: He can shoot really well, “the deadest shot in Macomb County,”
    CM: That he was more adventurous and that has talent left in him
CS: When Tim Johnson came down the street, the kids got more out of it than they thought.

Paragraph 3 (body 2)

TS: My mom had lots of animals when she was a kid
Two Echos: unexpected (did not expect), astound, astonish
SD: She had lots of pets at her house
    CM: More normal things like 4 cats and a dog 5 guinea pigs 2 birds
    CM: Even a goat once
SD: I learned that inside she has feelings for our pets
    CM: She remembers their names and stories about them  
    CM: She also really enjoys having them around
CS: Sadly, all of the pets died, and yes,my mom still doesn't particularly like our bird.

Paragraph 4 (closing)

Hook: Now you’ve seen that everywhere, even in Maycomb County, parents are more fastinating than they might seem.
Echo Word or Bell Word: Suprised
Comment on Hook: Jem’s Dad can shoot a rifle
Comment on Hook: My Mom had lots of cool animals
Re-statement of thesis: Now why don’t you go and talk to your parents and see if you can find out something that is cool about them because there probably is something awesome.

Free Write 3

Fire

So Terrifying

Flame

So Terrifying

So Warm

So Silent

Alarm

So Terrifying

So Odd

So Loud

Fire Truck

So Terrifying

So Quick

So Loud

Burning Building

So Terrifying

So Abnormal

So Loud

Fire

So Terrifying

Essay 5

Tears:
My Thoughts on Crying
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 12, 2010

    Crying is such a normal thing that happens to all of us, but have you ever actually thought deeper about it? Sometimes you actually don’t know when or why someone is crying, like Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird. Furthermore, have you ever thought about how you feel about crying; some people like it and some people hate it?  Crying is important sometimes, but sometimes it just gets in the way.
            (TS) On page 84 of the book To Kill a Mockingbird Jem, one of the main characters in the book starts crying, but, the problem is, we don’t know why he is crying. (SD) I think that one of the many reasons that Jem was crying was because Mr. Nathan Radley filled in Jem's special hole in a tree. (CM) His hole was where Scout and Jem always find little treasures like yarn, carved figures, and even once a watch. (CM) After seeing the hole was filled in, “Jem was facing me when he looked up, and I saw him go stark white.” (CM) This happened when Jem just realized the hole was filled with cement. (SD) Moreover, he could have been sad because he knows a secret that obviously no one else knows. (CM) You can tell that this secret puts him in a lot of pressure because he can’t decide to tell even Scout, his sister. (CM) For example, “He had been on the verge of telling me something all evening; his face would brighten and he would lean toward me, then he would change his mind.” (CS) When Jem starts crying there is no factual reason why, but these are a few possible reasons. 
            (TS) Not only does Jem cry, but other people in the real world cry too. (SD) I do not think that crying is the best thing that you can do, but there are many exceptions and reasons where you can, or even should, cry. (CM) A time when you should cry, for example, would be if you are in extreme pain through an injury. (CM) However, as I stated earlier, you really shouldn’t cry for any other reasons like a little scratch or an insult. (CM) You Just have to get up and walk away from it. (SD) The most recent time I was crying was during a hockey game. (CM) I had just caught a pass from the defense and I saw another player of about twice my weight about to hit me. (CM) We hit and I flew backward and landed on my head on the ice. (CM) I got a small concussion and my neck and back hurt for four days. (CM) Even though I cried, I went right back to the bench when my brain cleared up. (CS) Crying is something that lots of people do as small children, but, as they get older, they realize that crying is not something you do, or should do, all the time like breathing.
    Things like crying happen to all of us, but its knowing when and why to cry that is important. Jem probably knew why he was crying, but we, as the readers, didn’t. However, he might have been crying because his hole was filled in, and/or because of the secret that he knows. I am not really sure why Jem was crying, but we might find out later in the book. In conclusion, I do not know if Jem did, but you really need to have a good reason to cry.

Self Assessment

1. I am trying to get all commas in the right place.
2. I think I did well at making the sentences long and detailed
3. I think that the thesis wasn’t perfect because it was hard to combine these two topics to one sentence.
4. I would give myself a B+ because there were some weird parts

Essay 4

Boo:

An Essay on Respecting Privacy
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 5, 2010

          When most people see something weird, they just ignore it, but when the kids from To Kill a Mockingbird see something weird, they try to find out more about it.  When these kids hear about Boo Radley, a very weird man across the street, they immediately go and try to find out more about him. This includes listening and, eventually, spreading rumors. It also includes trying to spy on Boo, and it includes trying to lure Boo out of his house.  The kids really shouldn’t be invading Mr. Radley’s privacy.      
          (TS) The two words "respect" and "privacy" are two different words with two different meanings, but it is important to use them together. (TS2) I think that Dill, Jem, and Scout need to respect Boo Radley's privacy more. (SD) There are always rumors going around about Boo because people want to know more about him and his whereabouts, so these curious people, or children, ask people about him and then get an answer that might not be true. (CM1) This invades his privacy because someone has to spy on him to figure all this stuff out. (CM2) Also, if everyone in town is hearing about him he doesn’t have privacy at all, and, to make it all worse, some of these things that everyone is hearing, really aren’t true. (SD) Furthermore, Dill, Jem, and Scout shouldn’t be trying to lure Boo out of his house because this totally invades Boo’s privacy. (CM1) If he wants to be in his house, then the kids should let him be in his house. (CM2) For example, this is a time when Jem invades Boo’s privacy by trying to get him to come out, “Jem threw open the gate, sped to side of the house, slapped it with his palm and ran back past us.” (CS) Privacy is a very important thing, and we, kids and adults alike, need to make sure we don’t invade other peoples.
          In Macomb County, the town where this book takes place, people are obviously not very respectful of other people’s privacy by doing things like spreading rumors.  When rumors are spread, they tell all about something that a person didn’t want you to know; therefore, invading his privacy.  Also, by trying to lure Boo out of his house, the kids are really invading his privacy. All that Boo really ever wanted was some privacy, so the kids should respect that and let him be.   

Self Assessment

1. I am still working on making various sentence lengths.
2. I think I did well with my punctuation by not over punctuating.
3. I think that the last sentence in the concluding paragraph might be a little awkward, but it still works.
4. I would give myself an A because I think this is my best essay yet