Essay 3

Pug:

An Essay on the Similarities between My Dog and I
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 4, 2010

    There are some things that are just like you, and when you see them you just think, wow, that is so much the same as me. For me there are many things that I see like that; some remind me of other people, and some remind me of myself. My dog is one of them because he relates to me in many ways.
        (TS) When I see my dog Sidney, I think about how much he acts like me. (SD) First of all, Sidney is always in with the big dogs. (CM) We, Sidney and I, both go right in with the big people and dogs whether it is in lacrosse, hockey, school, or dog school. (CM) Some of our best friends are even really big, but we don't care. (SD) Also, Sidney always makes friends no matter what the other person or dog is like. (CM) He even makes friends with any cats he meets. (CM) I totally resemble that because I want to be friends with everyone I meet, no matter what they are like. (SD) On a less positive note, Sidney, like me, is always in a controlled environment or on a leash. (CM) He is always in my house, in his crate, outside on a leash, or at dog school, a place where he goes to play. (CM) I am related to that because, being 13, I have everything decided, controlled, and said for me. (CS) Sidney and his personality are obviously, in many ways, very similar to my personality and I.
    Both Sidney and I are small but act big, always try to make friends with someone we meet, and someone else always controls us. You can tell that we are just like each other in very many ways.

Self Assessment

1. I am working on good punctuation.
2. One strong point is the use of the leash metaphor
3. One weak point is the second CM of the second SD
4. I would give myself an A- because the essay is good but may have some weirdly worded sentences