Essay 8

Loneliness:
An Essay on Being Lonely
An essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
November 18, 2010

     Have you ever felt the very empty feeling of loneliness?  People in both the real and fictional worlds have many times. Representing the fictional world, is Dill, an extremely lonely child from To Kill a Mockingbird. Also, from the real world, I have felt lonely many times in my life. People from all kinds of places, whether they are real or made up, or from China or America, feel loneliness.
     (TS) In the book To Kill a Mockingbird Dill, one of the main characters, feels lonely a lot in chapter 14. (SD) Part of Dill’s loneliness is that his parents don’t do entertaining things with him. (CM) He felt badly because “they just wasn’t interested in [him].” (CM) Furthermore, he always felt abandoned because his parents just went and read in another room; they just wouldn’t spend time with him. (SD) Dill reinforces his loneliness by thinking negatively. (CM) He thinks “they do get on a lot better without [him],” when that might not be entirely true. (CM) However, although the fact that his parents don’t need him might not be true, his parents are always apart from him and they do give him good reason to think he is useless as they act like he is unnecessary to them. (CS) Dill is always lonely, but you can tell he has good reason to be lonely with his parents, a couple that neglects their adopted son.
     (TS) Loneliness is not only felt by Dill and fictional characters, but also by real world people like me. (SD) I sometimes feel abandoned when I stay home alone with nothing living except my dog, a sometimes boring creature whose favorite things are eating and sleeping. (CM) At first it is great fun to be able to do whatever you want, but after you’ve watched enough TV and played enough video games, you feel very excluded from what everyone else is doing. (CM) My sister might be at a friend’s house, while my parents are at Home Depot or some dull store, but I am in an even duller place, my lifeless house. (SD) It makes me feel solitary if I am not at hockey or school for a whole day because although I might see some people, I won’t usually get to see my friends. (CM) If you have ever gotten lost in a crowd of people, you know that you feel very alone even with all of those people around you because you don’t know any of them. (CM) This relates to not having anything all day because the people you see are just like those people in the crowd, totally irrelevant to you. (CS) Real world loneliness is the same as loneliness that Dill feels in the book.
     Scores of people from all around are lonely. Dill, a book character, feels lonely a lot due to his selfish parents. I, however, don’t have selfish parents, but busy parents who aren’t always around and that sometimes can make me lonely. Loneliness can be felt by every living thing, from made up book characters like Dill, to humans living right now like me, and even to animals like dogs who can be locked in a crate all day long with no one around.   

Self Assessment

1. One issue I am still working on is having sentences that flow and don’t have to be read twice.
2. I think that it is actually particularly good at flowing sentences because I read it over twice and reworded some things.
3. In the second body paragraph in the first CM of the second SD it is kind of off topic but I like the description so much I kept that sentence.
4. I would give myself an A- because I think it has some great sentences and lots of F.A.S.T. words but a few parts might have to be read twice for some people.

KEY

Bold=Echo or bell word
Red=FAST word
Blue=Appositive phrase
Pink=Participle at the end of a sentence

Essay 8 Outline

Alexander
11/16/10

Outline of Essay 8

Bell word: lonely, loneliness

Paragraph 1
Hook: have you ever felt lonely
CM: Dill did 
CM: I did
Thesis: People feel lonely all the time

Paragraph 2
Echoes: apart, abandoned
TS: Dill’s loneliness in TKAM
SD: his parents didn’t do things with him
        CM: “they just wasn’t interested in me”
        CM: they just read in another room
    SD: he feels they could do better without him; he feels they don’t need him
        CM: “they do get on a lot better without me”
        CM: they act like he is useless to
CS: Dill was lonely in TKAM and I understand because I have been lonely

Paragraph 3
Echoes: alone, solitary
TS: My real world loneliness
    SD: I stay home alone
        CM: I sometimes feel lonely after a while
        CM: to solve I usually text people
    SD: On days I don’t have hockey or school 
        CM: I see a lot of friends at both places
        CM: I get to spend time with them
CS: I’m not lonely a lot, but I am sometimes

Paragraph 4
Bell Word: lonely
Hook: Lots of people are lonely
CM: Dill is lonely
CM: I’m lonely
Re-Statement of Thesis: you can always be lonely even in a crowd of people

Essay 7

Growth:

My Thoughts on Growing Up

An Essay by Alexander Hawley

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

November 4, 2010

            (TS) Growing up is a important and helpful-sometimes slow, and it is sometimes fast, but it is sometimes possible that you will grow faster, or better, with someone’s help. (SD) The best part of growing up is that when you mature it really helps you for the rest of your life. (CM) It helps you because while growing, going to school, and observing, you gain lots of knowledge. (CM) Not only knowledge as in how to do algebra, but you also learn important life skills, like fire is not something you touch, a very early and crucial life skill. (CM) Also, when you are growing, you gain more practice at the things that you learned earlier in your life. (SD) Also, as earlier stated, growing can happen at many different speeds. (CM) It can be a very rapid process if you experience something very sad or highly emotional because it will probably have a big impact on you. (CM)For example, when Jem meets Mrs. Dubose and actually gets to know her, he grows a lot faster when she, unexpectedly for him, dies. (CM) Also, growing can be slow if you are just going through life with nothing unexpected, if you are just on a normal schedule for every day of your life. (SD) Furthermore, someone else can help you grow up better into an adult, a responsible, a nice, a polite, and an intelligent person. A sample of this from To Kill a Mockingbird is how Atticus is so responsible, that he is slowly teaching his children to grow up into good adults. (CM) Also, if you admire someone, whether they like it or not, they are teaching you how to grow up because you are going to do whatever they are doing no matter what it is. (CS) The very important puzzle that is growing up has some hard parts, like the background where everything is the same color, and it has some easy parts, but you might need some help from a friend to put it together right. 

Underline= F.A.S.T. word
Bold= appositive phrase       

Growing Up Organizer

Alexander

English Class

11/2/10

Graphic Organizer

Main Point: Growing up

TS: Growing up is very important, but you aren’t the only one who controls it

SD: Growing up helps you

            CM: As you grow you gain more knowledge to help you

            CM: You also get more practice at the thing you do know about

SD: Growing up happens at different speeds

            CM: It is fast if you experience something really important

            CM: It is slow when you are just going along with your daily schedule

SD: You can learn how to grow up right from someone else

            CM: Atticus teaches Jem to grow up

            CM: If you admire someone they are teaching you how to grow up

CS: When you grow up you can control how much use you make out of it, but someone else determines what you learn while growing up.

Essay 6

Dull to Amazing:
My Thoughts on Boring People’s Pasts
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 25, 2010

           (Hook) Most boring people are obviously thought of as “boring,” but have you ever actually bothered to try to find something cool about them, because there probably is. (CM) Jem’s dad in To Kill a Mockingbird was way more amusing, nifty, and facinating than Jem thought. (CM) Even my boring, working mom is so much more interesting than I thought before. (Thesis) It can be very surprising what you find when you look deeper into a boring person.  
            (TS) When the chief of police in Maycomb County handed Atticus the gun, his children were perplexed as to why he did, but when Atticus got a direct hit on Tim Johnson, a mad dog that needed to be shot, his kids knew why. (SD) When Tim Johnson came down the street and, “gulped like a goldfish, hunched his shoulder and twitched his torso,” the children told their maid to call the police, which she did. (CM) Then, as I said earlier, the policeman, who had just arrived at the scene, wanted Atticus to shoot because if you missed it would hit the Radley house, and the cop knew Atticus wouldn’t miss. (CM) Then, just as the officer suspected, Atticus quickly lined up and downed the dog in one shot. (CM) The kids were shocked to see that Atticus could do this. (SD) Seeing this dog being shot made Jem and Scout realize that there dad was more interesting than they thought. (CM) Later on, while talking to Miss Maudie, a very amazed Scout found out that Atticus was, “the deadest shot in Maycomb County.” (CM) Furthermore, it was good for the kids to learn that their dad might not be the most adventurous, exciting, or funny dad that exists, but he still has some cool things left in him. (CS) When old Tim Johnson came down the streets, the kids got way more from it than they thought
           (TS) Something I did not know, or expect, to learn about my mom, who is always complaining about how we have too many pets, is that she had even more pets than us as a kid. (SD) There were always pets in her house whether they were permanent or not. (CM) She astoundingly had four cats, a dog, five guinea pigs, and even two birds always around. (CM) However, most awesome of all, which I could only dream of, is that she had a goat in her house running around for a day. (CM) When she was on a vacation with my Great Grandma Bobby, she saw a goat, and then my awesome grandma asked to take it home, and, astonishingly, the farmer said yes. (SD) It was amazing to learn this about my mom because I now know that she actually cares for pets. (CM) First of all, she remembers all of her pet’s names from about 30 years ago. (CM) She even might have a spot in her heart for having our pets around, especially our dog, because you can tell she did when she was a child. (CS) It is sad to say that all of the pets have died, and I still think that my mom doesn’t really like our bird, but I do know that she would have loved to have our bird as a child.
         (Reference Back) Now, it is plain to see that boring people might not actually be boring after all. (CM) Atticus, the boring reader, was actually a sharpshooter. (CM) Even more surprising is that my pet-hating Mom was actually a pet lover as a kid. (CS, Thesis)  There are many people in this world, and many of them are “boring,” but they might actually have some really cool secrets you just don’t know about.
  

Essay 6 Outline

Alexander
English Class
October 21, 2010

Essay 6 Graphic Organizer

Main Point/Thesis: Parents are sometimes cooler than you think
Bell Word: Surprise/Surprising/Surprised

Paragraph 1(opening)

Hook: You probably think your parents are very boring, but they might actually be very interesting.
Comment on Hook: In TKAM Jem’s dad was cooler than he thought (body 1)
Comment on Hook: My mom was cooler than I thought (body 2)
Thesis (with bell word): Wether it is your parents or someone else’s parents, the are probably cooler than you think.

Paragraph 2 (body 1)

TS: Jem, Scout find out Atticus’s talent; shooting
Two Echos: Shocked, Amazed
SD: Tim Johnson coming down the street acting like “Jem gulped like a goldfish, hunched his shoulder and twitched his torso.”
    CM: Cop wants Atticus to shoot for him
    CM: Atticus kills Tim in one shot
    CM: Talk to Miss Maudie
SD: Learned Dad is more interesting
    CM: He can shoot really well, “the deadest shot in Macomb County,”
    CM: That he was more adventurous and that has talent left in him
CS: When Tim Johnson came down the street, the kids got more out of it than they thought.

Paragraph 3 (body 2)

TS: My mom had lots of animals when she was a kid
Two Echos: unexpected (did not expect), astound, astonish
SD: She had lots of pets at her house
    CM: More normal things like 4 cats and a dog 5 guinea pigs 2 birds
    CM: Even a goat once
SD: I learned that inside she has feelings for our pets
    CM: She remembers their names and stories about them  
    CM: She also really enjoys having them around
CS: Sadly, all of the pets died, and yes,my mom still doesn't particularly like our bird.

Paragraph 4 (closing)

Hook: Now you’ve seen that everywhere, even in Maycomb County, parents are more fastinating than they might seem.
Echo Word or Bell Word: Suprised
Comment on Hook: Jem’s Dad can shoot a rifle
Comment on Hook: My Mom had lots of cool animals
Re-statement of thesis: Now why don’t you go and talk to your parents and see if you can find out something that is cool about them because there probably is something awesome.

Free Write 3

Fire

So Terrifying

Flame

So Terrifying

So Warm

So Silent

Alarm

So Terrifying

So Odd

So Loud

Fire Truck

So Terrifying

So Quick

So Loud

Burning Building

So Terrifying

So Abnormal

So Loud

Fire

So Terrifying

Essay 5

Tears:
My Thoughts on Crying
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 12, 2010

    Crying is such a normal thing that happens to all of us, but have you ever actually thought deeper about it? Sometimes you actually don’t know when or why someone is crying, like Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird. Furthermore, have you ever thought about how you feel about crying; some people like it and some people hate it?  Crying is important sometimes, but sometimes it just gets in the way.
            (TS) On page 84 of the book To Kill a Mockingbird Jem, one of the main characters in the book starts crying, but, the problem is, we don’t know why he is crying. (SD) I think that one of the many reasons that Jem was crying was because Mr. Nathan Radley filled in Jem's special hole in a tree. (CM) His hole was where Scout and Jem always find little treasures like yarn, carved figures, and even once a watch. (CM) After seeing the hole was filled in, “Jem was facing me when he looked up, and I saw him go stark white.” (CM) This happened when Jem just realized the hole was filled with cement. (SD) Moreover, he could have been sad because he knows a secret that obviously no one else knows. (CM) You can tell that this secret puts him in a lot of pressure because he can’t decide to tell even Scout, his sister. (CM) For example, “He had been on the verge of telling me something all evening; his face would brighten and he would lean toward me, then he would change his mind.” (CS) When Jem starts crying there is no factual reason why, but these are a few possible reasons. 
            (TS) Not only does Jem cry, but other people in the real world cry too. (SD) I do not think that crying is the best thing that you can do, but there are many exceptions and reasons where you can, or even should, cry. (CM) A time when you should cry, for example, would be if you are in extreme pain through an injury. (CM) However, as I stated earlier, you really shouldn’t cry for any other reasons like a little scratch or an insult. (CM) You Just have to get up and walk away from it. (SD) The most recent time I was crying was during a hockey game. (CM) I had just caught a pass from the defense and I saw another player of about twice my weight about to hit me. (CM) We hit and I flew backward and landed on my head on the ice. (CM) I got a small concussion and my neck and back hurt for four days. (CM) Even though I cried, I went right back to the bench when my brain cleared up. (CS) Crying is something that lots of people do as small children, but, as they get older, they realize that crying is not something you do, or should do, all the time like breathing.
    Things like crying happen to all of us, but its knowing when and why to cry that is important. Jem probably knew why he was crying, but we, as the readers, didn’t. However, he might have been crying because his hole was filled in, and/or because of the secret that he knows. I am not really sure why Jem was crying, but we might find out later in the book. In conclusion, I do not know if Jem did, but you really need to have a good reason to cry.

Self Assessment

1. I am trying to get all commas in the right place.
2. I think I did well at making the sentences long and detailed
3. I think that the thesis wasn’t perfect because it was hard to combine these two topics to one sentence.
4. I would give myself a B+ because there were some weird parts

Essay 4

Boo:

An Essay on Respecting Privacy
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 5, 2010

          When most people see something weird, they just ignore it, but when the kids from To Kill a Mockingbird see something weird, they try to find out more about it.  When these kids hear about Boo Radley, a very weird man across the street, they immediately go and try to find out more about him. This includes listening and, eventually, spreading rumors. It also includes trying to spy on Boo, and it includes trying to lure Boo out of his house.  The kids really shouldn’t be invading Mr. Radley’s privacy.      
          (TS) The two words "respect" and "privacy" are two different words with two different meanings, but it is important to use them together. (TS2) I think that Dill, Jem, and Scout need to respect Boo Radley's privacy more. (SD) There are always rumors going around about Boo because people want to know more about him and his whereabouts, so these curious people, or children, ask people about him and then get an answer that might not be true. (CM1) This invades his privacy because someone has to spy on him to figure all this stuff out. (CM2) Also, if everyone in town is hearing about him he doesn’t have privacy at all, and, to make it all worse, some of these things that everyone is hearing, really aren’t true. (SD) Furthermore, Dill, Jem, and Scout shouldn’t be trying to lure Boo out of his house because this totally invades Boo’s privacy. (CM1) If he wants to be in his house, then the kids should let him be in his house. (CM2) For example, this is a time when Jem invades Boo’s privacy by trying to get him to come out, “Jem threw open the gate, sped to side of the house, slapped it with his palm and ran back past us.” (CS) Privacy is a very important thing, and we, kids and adults alike, need to make sure we don’t invade other peoples.
          In Macomb County, the town where this book takes place, people are obviously not very respectful of other people’s privacy by doing things like spreading rumors.  When rumors are spread, they tell all about something that a person didn’t want you to know; therefore, invading his privacy.  Also, by trying to lure Boo out of his house, the kids are really invading his privacy. All that Boo really ever wanted was some privacy, so the kids should respect that and let him be.   

Self Assessment

1. I am still working on making various sentence lengths.
2. I think I did well with my punctuation by not over punctuating.
3. I think that the last sentence in the concluding paragraph might be a little awkward, but it still works.
4. I would give myself an A because I think this is my best essay yet

Essay 3

Pug:

An Essay on the Similarities between My Dog and I
An Essay by Alexander Hawley
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
October 4, 2010

    There are some things that are just like you, and when you see them you just think, wow, that is so much the same as me. For me there are many things that I see like that; some remind me of other people, and some remind me of myself. My dog is one of them because he relates to me in many ways.
        (TS) When I see my dog Sidney, I think about how much he acts like me. (SD) First of all, Sidney is always in with the big dogs. (CM) We, Sidney and I, both go right in with the big people and dogs whether it is in lacrosse, hockey, school, or dog school. (CM) Some of our best friends are even really big, but we don't care. (SD) Also, Sidney always makes friends no matter what the other person or dog is like. (CM) He even makes friends with any cats he meets. (CM) I totally resemble that because I want to be friends with everyone I meet, no matter what they are like. (SD) On a less positive note, Sidney, like me, is always in a controlled environment or on a leash. (CM) He is always in my house, in his crate, outside on a leash, or at dog school, a place where he goes to play. (CM) I am related to that because, being 13, I have everything decided, controlled, and said for me. (CS) Sidney and his personality are obviously, in many ways, very similar to my personality and I.
    Both Sidney and I are small but act big, always try to make friends with someone we meet, and someone else always controls us. You can tell that we are just like each other in very many ways.

Self Assessment

1. I am working on good punctuation.
2. One strong point is the use of the leash metaphor
3. One weak point is the second CM of the second SD
4. I would give myself an A- because the essay is good but may have some weirdly worded sentences

Essay 2

Alexander Hawley Essay #2

English Class

September 22, 2010

Un Poco Loco:

(A Little Bit Crazy)

An Essay on My “Crazy” Sister

 

"Strange", is a word that can be used in many different ways. It can be good or bad, too crazy or too normal, or even just plain weird, but no matter how strange you or someone else is, my sister, in a very good way, is the strangest for sure.

            (TS) Some people are just normal people. (TS2) They do the same activities as everyone else, they act the same as everyone else, and they even look the same everyone, but not my sister Natalie. (SD) First of all, she has a very different personality; she is very crazy, or as some say, “Spazzy.” (CM1) My friend John always comes up and says, "Your sister is such a spazz."(CM2) However, she doesn’t care what other people think of her, which makes her different all by itself. (SD) Also, she always sleeps on the floor in her room. (CM1) This is especially weird because she has a really nice bunk bed about two feet from her head. (CM2) She says she sleeps on the floor because, “I have more room.” (SD) Lastly, she has really long, complicated, and weird dreams. (CM1) Her dreams involve crazy things like singing frogs, talking animals, and walking lollipops. (CM2) Another odd part of her dreams is that she memorizes the whole thing, and then she just sits there and recites it for 15 minutes. (CS) You can tell that the spazzy, dream telling, and floor sleeping Natalie is far from the normal people in the world.                             

            Obviously, by the fact that she does odd things like not listening to what anyone tells her, sleeping on the floor, and remembering her dreams, she is odd.  However, Natalie might be quirky, wacky, and spazzy, but she is the best sister ever.

Thank you, Natalie, for permission to write this essay.

Free Write 2

Chameleon

I wish I could be like a Chameleon

I could climb sideways, up, and down

I wouldn’t have to worry about things like school and hockey

If I wanted to, I could just change colors a disappear

I would never get bored because I would always be doing something

My eyes could see all around, and no one could hide behind me

I would be so colorful and cool looking, and I would have really long tongue

That’s not including how awesome it would be to have scales

I wish I could be like a Chameleon

Essay 1

Alexander Hawley Essay #1

English Class

September 15, 2010

Bulletproof:

An Essay on the Song by La Roux

         When you hear a song on the, radio, the Internet, or on your iPod, does it sometimes remind you of your feelings about something? For me, the song “Bulletproof” has lots of the same ideas that I had when summer was ending.
     (TS) When the summer was coming to an end, and school was about to start, I had lots of mixed feelings, most of which are expressed in the song “Bulletproof.” (SD) After the opening music, when the first verse starts, the main singer sings, “I'm having fun don't put me down I'll never let you sweep me off my feet.” (CM1) The beginning of the verse is just like how I was having fun in the summer and I didn’t want it to end. (CM2) The second part of the verse represents how, even though I was sad for summer to end, I didn’t let it change my personality. (SD)  After the chorus and some more singing, she sings, “Tick tick tick tick on the watch and life's too short for me to stop Oh baby, your time is running out.”(CM1) This reflects my feelings near the end of summer because I knew my time was running out. (CM2) However, again, I realized that “life’s too short for me to stop,” and that I needed to get over the fact that summer was ending and I had to go back to school. (SD) Last, the most obvious part of the song, the chorus, was like summer with the words, “This time baby I'll be bulletproof. This time baby…” (CM1) One of my goals for the year was to not let anyone get to me. (CM2) This also talks about the fact that, if someone does get to you, don’t let them get in the way of more important things you do. (CS) As you can see, the song has a lot to do with my summer ending and school beginning.
     The song “Bulletproof” obviously expresses lots of my feelings all in one. It expresses the fun you have during the summer, the time crunch in the end of summer, and even some of my goals for going back to school. Lots of songs have amazing things in them, so next time you hear a song on the radio, internet, or on your iPod, see if you can find things that relate to you, your life and your feelings.



Self Assessment


1.    I am still trying to make sure I get my punctuation right, so hopefully I did well on that in my essay

2.    I think a strong point is probably how I kept quoting the song, and using the quotes to help support my point.

3.    I think a weak point of my essay is the CM2 of my 3rd SD because, even though it is true, it doesn’t reflect the quote that well.

4.    I would probably give myself an A- because it was overall pretty good except a few small errors.

Free Write 1

I'm in study hall and Ben is talking to me. Sorry, I took a break for a second because Ben took my computer to check his email.  Now I am listening to Edward and Chris talk about their math. I had fun in math today. We learned about real numbers since it’s only the 3rd day of school. As I look around, I can see that lots of people are doing math homework.  I just talked to my old math teacher, but she is gone now, so again, I am typing.  If you listen closely, the library sounds very cool, you can hear the little whispers, the keyboards clicking and people walking by. It is mostly quiet though because it is a “Quiet Study Time.” People around me are talking now.  Someone just needed help with email. The other class has different homework than us. I wonder if they are better or worse. I just have to free write and they have to write an 11-sentence paragraph. Maybe we will do that later and they will just do this later. For now, I will just finish up my free write which I have just passed the time for, maybe I should keep writing, yeah, I will tell you that after this I have to do my own math and send an email to my Spanish teacher. My other friend who was doing his free writing just left and one of the new kids sat in his place. He is from a different country and his blog instructions are in a different language. I am going to go now because I need to finish my other homework. Bye.